Harassment is sad.

[Nepene]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A

The original

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEAC7nl5n2g

In skyrim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75aX9ml ... e=youtu.be

As a male.

So what do people think about such harassment? I am very opposed to it. I found it frustrating and annoying as a university student and often very scary.

[crayzz]

It's disrespectful. Most of us simply know that when it comes to pan handlers, or to sales men and women; hell, it's frequently illegal* for pan handlers to operate in certain areas, despite the fact that they're no more an intrusion than other forms of harassment, and pan handlers might well have a good reason for it. A semi-common theme for men is to say it's totally cool and that women are over reacting... until a man hits on them. Reminds me of the joke, "Male homophobia is the fear that gay men will treat straight men the way straight men treat women."

* I'm not convinced that it should be, but it's an interesting barometer on social acceptance of the practice; at the very least, people are often apathetic about people being charged for the practice of asking people for money while poor.

[RyukaTana]

I saw a few instances of rude conduct in the first video, mixed with a lot of people just saying 'hello', and being maybe a little too forward. There's some far more blatant shit in the male version, and I still don't think it's a problem. The guy who follows the chick for however many minutes, I could accept that being considered harassment, there's a point at which it's pretty reasonable to feel threatened by someone.

Some of the rude behavior should be treated with disdain, clamped down on, but it's not harassment. I've had people stop and have long, rude, unpleasant conversations with me because of doing gamer stuff in public, and I still wouldn't consider that 'harassment'. I wanted to punch those people in the face, and I'd cheer on anyone who did so with similar conduct. All things considered, though, I sure as fuck don't think the better world is one where people create these insular little bubbles to live in because we're all afraid of being 'harassed' or being punished for 'harassing' others.

[Nepene]

I'm actually more ok with guys hitting on me than random girls. They've generally been more respectful of my right to bodily privacy. No means no to them. I've had several girls grab my genitals or ass in public. I've never had a guy do that. I'd prefer neither but handy stuff is really disturbing.

[crayzz]

I suspect the two biggest factors encouraging sexual harassment from women are 1) the idea that men are always cool with sex, and 2) the idea that women are weak and harmless. Normally, men who sexually harass seem apathetic to whether or not the women they target are ok with it. The women don't seem apathetic, but they don't seem to even consider whether or not they cause harm. For harassment from women I've faced,* the women were almost deferential; they were quick to back off, and usually did so of their own accord.

* I say harassment since it's the closest approximation I have, but the incidents weren't severe enough on their own to really count, and there's no pattern of repeated incidents from one or many individuals. And the repetition is a key factor: a one off uncomfortable incident is nearly as much an issue as having to face such incidents multiple times a day.

[luislsacc]

Well, this viedo settles it for me.

So many New Yorkers are terrible people, I mean, geez.

[Deepbluediver]

So many New Yorkers are terrible people, I mean, geez.

Just as something to think about- how many men do you think she passed on the street that didn't say anything?
You can say that NYC is filled with terrible people, but what percentage of the population was it? I probably passed at least 300 people walking to work this morning. In parts of the city it wouldn't be hard to pass more than 1,000 people per hour in the street. So if 1% of them are assholes...I'd say we're doing pretty good.

[yomikoma]

On the other hand, how many men saw her being harassed and didn't say "hey, knock it off asshole"?

[Deepbluediver]

On the other hand, how many men saw her being harassed and didn't say "hey, knock it off asshole"?

I have no idea; the bystander effect can be pretty powerful. Many men probably wouldn't classify catcalling as harassment, though. You can debate if that's right or wrong, I'm just stating it as fact.

Personally, I don't go around trying to white-knight for every woman in the city. So long as it's just words I generally assume that adults can take care of themselves. If someone appeared to be in real danger or asked me for help, I would be immediately step in, as I have on rare occasions.

I'll even relate one incident I'm willing to share- I was coming home late at night, and I passed a couple arguing loudly in the street. Because the man was visibly drunk and angry, stopped and asked if everything was alright. I did so in tone that made it clear I did not think things where alright. Both of them gave me death-stares, and then ignored me, with the woman simply walking away faster than her companion could follow. Apparently she didn't think she needed my help.

[crayzz]

On the other hand, how many men saw her being harassed and didn't say "hey, knock it off asshole"?

I think one important factor is that men don't see just how common it is. They see a one off incident, not the hundred that follow.

Personally, I don't go around trying to white-knight for every woman in the city.

God I despise that phrase. I don't know when doing small decencies for women got turned into "white knighting," but I dearly wish that mindset would die in fire.