Intro to the Kitchen

[crayzz]

I tend to get a little nervous, for no very excellent reason, when ingredient amounts are listed only in proportion to one another. Just thought I'd share that.

Really? What is the reason? That recipe is very forgiving; you could put a thin layer of cheese on the top and bottom, with the rest just raspberries and walnuts, and it would probably still work (actually, I think I'll try that when I get the chance).

In any case, I put in actual units.

Just to be clear: if you mean the white rind on brie, that's not wax. It is edible, although for many people it's an acquired taste. It's a rind formed by bacteria on and in the cheese - much as the blue veins in blue cheeses.

Really, eh? It felt waxy, I kind of just assumed. I don't actually mind the rind that much, but I don't think it would taste good melted into everything else.

[crayzz]

Crepes

I should say upfront that this recipe is extremely bare. It's so bare that, if you left out any ingredients, you'd be left with either a floury paste or scrambled eggs. There are many ways to make crepes, but this is one of the simplest.

The ingredients:

• 2 eggs
• 1 cup of flour; this doesn't need to be exact. There's some leeway here.
• 1 cup of milk; if you run out of milk, you can substitute with water. Milk is preferable, and it's best to have more milk than water.

Mix the eggs, flour, and half the milk in a large bowl. Mix and stir as much as possible, until the moisture stops spreading around the flour. Pour in more milk, bit by bit, mixing as you go. The key to crepe batter is that it's very thin. It should be a little thicker than water; I actually keep a glass of water on hand to compare. If you use up a full cup of milk before the batter is thin enough, just keep adding more. The above amount is just a guideline. It shouldn't take much more, though.

Once the batter is mixed, heat a frying pan on medium (probably about 4 or 5 on the element's scale). Lightly oil the pan by pouring on some oil, and spreading it with a paper towel (the towel should soak up excess oil). Pour in just enough batter to cover most of the pan with a thin layer (1/16 inch). Let it cook until the edges solidify. At this point, the top layer should still be raw, but the bottom and the edges cooked. Flip the crepe (preferably with a spatula), let it cook for about 15 seconds, and pull it off, leaving it flat on a plate. The first crepe might be very oily; it's a mistake I often make. You can still eat it. You might need to add a few more drops of oil after 5 or 6 crepes. This recipe should make about 8 to 10 crepes.

So, now we have crepes. The thing is, they're pretty much tasteless. Crepes are like burritos in that you can fill them with just about everything. You even wrap them like burritos, but you can fold them over like quesadillas if you want (you'll need to eat them with a fork and knife if you do). Here's a couple of quick fillings I like to use:

• Lemon/Lime juice and Sugar; drizzle the lemon juice and sprinkle about a teaspoon of sugar.
• Lemon, Peach preserve; peache jam will also work, but I find it's too sweet. Lemons don't peel well, so it's easier to cut the rind off. Lay peices of lemon along the crepe, and spoon the peach alongside it.
• Raspebrries and Nutella; I prefer heating up frozen raspeberries for this, though it can be pretty messy. Fresh raspberries will work fine.
• Chicken strips and Creme Cheese; perfect for left over chicken (or even turkey).

[Packbat]

Crepes immediately reminded me of a webcomic.* No wonder that's a drinking game for my D&D group.

What recommendations would you make to someone with a non-stick pan?

* "Harbourmaster" is a very good comic, by the way - I recommend starting at the beginning. Be aware that the story is not told all in chronological order -- there are many, many flashbacks.

[crayzz]

What recommendations would you make to someone with a non-stick pan?

You probably need less oil than you think. You should also avoid using metal utensils on a non-stick pan. The layer that's added to keep food from sticking can scratch off if you're not careful.

"Harbourmaster" is a very good comic, by the way - I recommend starting at the beginning.

God dammit, it's already hard to keep up with my comics, now you've gone and made me start reading another one.

[crayzz]

Apples Fritters

So, the basic idea here is deep fried apples. It might sound strange at first, but they are very delicious.

The ingredients:

• 2 eggs
• 1 cup of flour
• 1/2 to 1 cup of milk
• Apples; ok, buying apples can be tricky. There are dozens of varieties, each with their own flavour. For cooking, I recommend large apples that aren't very sweet. Apples like golden delicious, cortland apples or skye apples are good for this. The reason is because apples have their own flavour, but that flavour tends to get lost in sweet apples, where all you can taste is the sweetness. Another reason is that usually you'll be adding your own sugar anyways, so using sweet apples is redunant, and can be a little overpowering.
• Honey and Cinnamon; this is your toppings for your deep fried apple.

The key thing here is that we need a batter. This batter is basically the same as the crepe batter above, but more thick (so less milk). You can use pretty much any batter you want, so if you want to substitute for store bought beer batter, or fish batter, chicken batter, whatever-batter, etc, you totally can. Before you start, gently heat a pot or pan of oil.

Mix the eggs, flour and 1/2 cup of milk in a bowl, and mix. Keep adding milk and mixing until your batter has the consistency of a thick pudding (note: you can go thicker or thinner if you prefer; I find this works best). Now þhat your batter is made, you'll need to chop up your apples. This means your apples need to be cored. There are several ways of doing this. Once your apples is cored, chop your apple into 1/4 in to 1/2 inch thick chunks(the apple does not need to be skinned). Dip the apples pieces into the batter, and drop the battered apples into the oil (which should, by now, be hot). Let them fry until the batter turns brown. You now have apple fritters. Take them out of the oil, and let the excess oil drain into a paper towel. Dab each fritter with some honey, and sprinkle on a pinch of cinnamon.
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I have a some recipes in mind for home made mac and cheese, for shepherd's pie, and for home made hamburgers. Is there anything any one wants, in particular?

[Packbat]

I have a some recipes in mind for home made mac and cheese, for shepherd's pie, and for home made hamburgers. Is there anything any one wants, in particular?

Home made hamburgers as in "start with unground beef"?

(I actually have a somewhat-inchoate mac-and-cheese recipe that works very well for me, and was considering choating it for this thread. The main thing I would need to do is figure out the proportions of the ingredients, given that I've been doing it by eyeball.)

[crayzz]

Home made hamburgers as in "start with unground beef"?

Haha, no no. Most hamburgers also contain egg, bread crumbs, onions, and whatever spices you want to add, but I don't think someone just learning to cook would know about the first 3. Actually, a great way to make really good cheese burgers is to put cheese in the ground beef itself.

[Horizon]

I'm very tempted to write out lyrics for 'Welcome to the Kitchen'. As it stands, I have a bit too much on my plate to devote the hour or two I'd need for anything decent.

[Deepbluediver]

In case you're not in the know, quiche (pronounced "keesh") is basically scrambled-egg pie. AFAIK, it's a pretty much an every-time food, but because it's French it gets extra-fancy points right off the bat. When I make quiche, I frequently use the store-bought frozen pie crusts. You can make your own, but pie-crust can be a little tricky, and for a beginner, I'd recommend something prepared.
The packages I buy usually come with 2 pie crusts, so I'll provide 2 recipes here, sized for 1 pie each. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of variations on quiche, and you should feel free to experiment.


Ingredients & Tools
Eggs (4 medium or large or 3 XL per 9-inch pie)
Milk or cream
Olive oil
8-10 ounces spinach (frozen preferred, if using fresh spinach cook and drain it first)
1 onion
1/2 cup grated mozzarella
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Sausage meat
Mushrooms (8-10 oz)
1/2 cup grated mozzarella
1/2 cup grated cheddar
A knife
9-inch Pie Pan (if your pie-crist does not come with one)
Mixing Bowl
Frypan
Spices (optional)

Directions (spinach and onion quiche)- this one is vegetarian, though not vegan, obviously
1) Ready your pie crust according to the directions (thaw, prebake, unroll, whatever). This is one area where the pre-made frozen crusts excel, since they usually come in their own pie-pan and can be used straight out of the fridge, saving you a lot of hassle.
2) Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in the frypan.
3) Dice onions and saute for 8-10 minutes.
4) Add spinach and cook for another 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
4a) If cooking fresh spinach, rinse with water, cut off stems, and then put it in a large pot with a few tablespoons of water (you basically want to steam it) and heat on medium for for 10-15 minutes, flipping occasionally.
5) Season lightly with salt and pepper, and if you like, 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg.
6) While the veggies cook, prepare the eggs as you would for regular scrambled eggs. (Crack into bowl, mix with a few tablespoons milk or cream, etc)
7) Mix the mozzarella and Parmesan into the eggs.
8) When the veggies are cooked, allow them to cool for 3-5 minutes, then add them to eggs and cheese and Mix together. (you can also layer the veggies in the pie-pan, then add the cheese, then pour the eggs over everything, but I prefer a more evenly distributed pie to the layered-look)
9) Pour into the pie-pan and cook in the oven at 400 degrees F for 45-50 minutes, until eggs are firm and top begins to brown.
10) Allow to cool for 5 minutes to help the pie set, then serve.

Directions (sausage and mushroom quiche)
1) Ready your pie crust according to the directions (thaw, prebake, unroll, whatever). This is one area where the pre-made frozen crusts excel, since they usually come in their own pie-pan and can be used straight out of the fridge, saving you a lot of hassle.
2) Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in the frypan.
3) Rinse, then slice the mushrooms and cook on medium heat. (mushroom have a surprisingly large amount of water in them, I prefer to cook mine down quite a bit; how long you cook your mushrooms for is entirely up to you, though I would recommend at least 5 minutes) Adding other foods also slows down the process, so I would have the mushrooms 2/3-3/4 cooked before the next step.
4) Add susage meat (roughly 1/2 lb if you can get the logs, approx. 2 regular sausages with their casings peeled off otherwise) and cook for another 8-10 minutes, until browned, stirring constantly.
5) Season lightly with black pepper, and if you like, a dash or two of paprika or cheyenne.
6) While the mushrooms and sausage cook, prepare the eggs as you would for regular scrambled eggs. (Crack into bowl, mix with a few tablespoons milk or cream, etc)
7) Mix the mozzarella and cheddar into the eggs.
8) When the other filling is cooked, allow it to cool for 3-5 minutes, then add them to eggs and cheese and Mix together.
9) Pour into the pie-pan and cook in the oven at 400 degrees F for 45-50 minutes, until eggs are firm and top begins to brown.
10) Allow to cool for 5 minutes to help the pie set, then serve.


Useful Notes
Not everyone puts mozzarella in their quiche. I like it though, and since it turns very gooey when it melts, it helps bind the pie together. Feel free to experiment with other cheese; swiss and gruyère are other common options. Also, in the store you usually see either fresh mozzarella (in tubs and stored in water) and...not-fresh (I guess?) in vacuum-sealed packages. I always cook with the not-fresh version, since it's easier to grate. Fresh mozzarella is better suited to salads or just eating straight. I'm not sure what would happen if you tried to cook with it.
Other common add-ins for quiche include bacon, ham, and tomatoes.
Depending on how full your pie-pans are, it might be helpful to put a cookie-sheet underneath them while they bake to catch any drips if they overflow. Do not try to fill them right to the brim; the quiche will rise quite a bit.

[Deepbluediver]

-boiling ground beef in water in the microwave.

...
...
...
...I have no words...

Now, boiled-beef is actually a thing. It's a very popular dish is Austria, where they serve it even in fancy restaurants, but it's more like stewed beef in broth with dumplings, and certainly not at all like what your spouse was attempting.

I tend to get a little nervous, for no very excellent reason, when ingredient amounts are listed only in proportion to one another. Just thought I'd share that.
Also, a contribution to the item list, though I have no idea where it would go: a kitchen scale.

I tried to give general amounts to emphasize that they didn't need to be exact. Some people are turned off then they see a recipe like "372 grams of sugar UND NOT A ZINGLE GRAIN MOORE!". I also kept the standard measurements though because some people are nervous about estimating.

A scale can be useful, depending on what recipes you are using. I've made do for years without one, though my parents tell me it's very helpful. IMO it's more help for baking, since weight and volume need to be more precise and are less interchangeable. I'll think about where it could best fit.

There are many ways to make crepes, but this is one of the simplest.

Another very simple-in-concept food, and good for experimentation, but not the first thing I would have run to for a beginner or someone just learning how to cook. I invite people to try new things and push their limits, but there are several areas where it's easy to get hung up on with crepes.

The batter needs to be the right consistency- to thick and it won't spread, to thin and it won't cook properly.
Also, both spreading the batter evenly on the pan and flipping the crepe without folding it over or missing the pan entirely require skill and practice.

If anyone is trying crepes for the first time, I would recommend starting out with your smallest fry-pan, and watching at least one of Youtube's many videos on the subject.

Haha, no no. Most hamburgers also contain egg, bread crumbs, onions, and whatever spices you want to add, but I don't think someone just learning to cook would know about the first 3.

You can make hamburgers with just ground beef; the egg and bread-crumbs are usually binding agents. I see them more often in recipes for meat-loaf, which needs more help to hold it together since it's larger.

I've got my own recipe for shepherd's pie that I was planning to post eventually. No rush, but when you get the chance, post yours, if you want, and we'll see how they compare.